Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Consumption Control


 In a world of oversized portions and high calorie foods how do you control what you eat?

I drive from 43rd ave and Union Hills Drive to 43rd ave and Glendale and back at least 5 days a week. As I drive I pass a bunch of places that I could stop and eat food. Some are easy to pass others are not so easy.
How do I ignore that gnawing feeling in my stomach telling me to stop and grab a bite from here or there?


Eat Before you leave:

This is the first thing you need to do to make sure that you do not stop and waste a fuel stop on a 1000 calorie hamburger or load up on fats from a fast food joint.
If you are craving a burger don’t wait till you are on the road, grab a turkey burger patty out of your freezer and fire up your George Forman grill and grill the fat out of a delicious burger you can make at home. Don’t have time to prepare a burger from scratch before work? Prep everything when you have time and then all you have to do is flop your meat on the grill while you get ready and then fix your bun and you have a quick delicious substitute to that fatty, dry, heat lamp burger. Still don’t have time before work, while you can always prep a salad in a plastic bowl with a lid and take it with you eating an apple, carrots, or cucumbers as you get ready and then following or next tip to get you to work worry free.


Drink Water!

This is the second tip I discuss but it is actually quite a bit more important than the first tip.
Make sure you are drinking plenty of water you should always have a water bottle on hand and you should refill it as soon as it is empty with good quality water… If it’s brown turn it down! Water is better for you if it has high alkaline levels, that’s not saying you should walk around with water test strips but I do recommend drinking from a trusted source… not all SODA companies can be trusted to provide you with good quality water, do some research. Anytime you begin to feel hungry grab a light snack, fruits or veggies, and your water.
Water does two things:
It fills the space that your body wants to fill with food so that if you do eat you get full faster.
It rehydrates you… you can begin to feel hungry if your body has not been hydrated properly.
I have a water dispenser that I bought at Walmart and I have a five gallon jug on it that I fill at the water store down the street from my house, when it is not 110 degrees I carry the water jug it is about a half mile or so which is good exercise. I have a large size water bottle that I always have on me and I am always drinking from. Even with as much water as I drink, I do not drink soda at all, I have a hydrationindex of -3.2.


Eat fiber

YUCK. Why would I want to eat cardboard flavored cereal?
Yes original flavor fiber one taste horrible and I do not like to eat it either but there are other flavors that do not taste half bad and you can also eat fruit. Fora list of the ten best sources of fiber check out this post.
Fiber is awesome
It helps you stay full for longer, because it takes longer for your body to digest it.
It helps you poop on schedule, if I eat a bowl of fiber one cereal every day I can count on dropping the kids off at the pool at around 10 every morning.
If you are trying to lose weight fiber helps your body flush out the excess fat in your digestive track
Finally it helps you drop those rock hard poos you always dream of.
While it is important to poop on a regular basis do not get carried away and keep a log of logs… unless your into that kind of thing.


Eat Enough

Everyone is on a diet
It does not matter if you are vegetarian, vegan, carnivore, omnivore; if you are on the Atkins diet or the SEE FOOD diet. You want to eat enough to make you not hungry, if you feel like you are about to pop 20 minutes after you eat then you tried to consume enough to feed a third world country!
The suggested serving size is just that SUGGESTED, only you know what you need to eat to be satisfied but do not overfill and make ever calorie count… not to be confused with count every calorie.
Count Calories
This is the most tedious and annoying thing in the world and you will hate every god forsaken second of it and you will curse my name and your name and whatever website you are using to track your calorie intake, but it is a good tool. This is temporary, you count calories for a couple of months. Once you get a routine down and understand serving sizes you will be able to prepare a menu or plate for yourself without over consuming.


Keep your goal in mind

This is the hardest one because as you drive past your favorite fast food hole in the wall, or what have you, you will not be thinking I need to drop a unspecified number of pounds you will be thinking my stomach is growling, when was the last time I ate, I don’t want the nasty salad sitting in my passenger seat, I want a deliciously horribly tasteless heat lamp burger on stale buns.


Last but not least think about the last thing you think about in the above point

Deliciously Horribly Tasteless heat lamp burger on stale buns.
If your still hungry after that eat something healthy like a sandwich from a sandwich shop or the salad bar at a salad bar having place.


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Have a Happy and Healthy week



Thomas Gould

Friday, June 27, 2014

"Don't Let Anybody Poop on Your Ice cream!" ~Thomas Gould

~Thomas Gould

PRELUDE

At every junction of your life you have a choice.

  • When your alarm goes off in the morning do you get up or hit the snooze. 
    • If you hit the snooze then you are greeted with that same choice all over again. 

Each decision has benefits and consequences that you have to weigh when you make your decision.

  • If you hit the snooze 
    • get a few more minutes of sleep
    • no time for the three "S's" Shower, Shave, and Poo
  • If you do not hit the snooze 
    • lose precious minutes of sleep 
    • don't smell like booty at work (this is not the kinda booty you find in a pirates chest)

Every decision you make boils down at some point to a true or false statement
in our snooze button example it is complicated yet easy:

  • Do I hit snooze? Yes/No - Easy but complicated by other questions
    • Did I get enough sleep? Yes/No - Easy but again complicated but by a definition or another question
      • Definition: How much sleep is enough sleep - answer may be as simple as a predefined constant 8 hours. Then - did I get that much sleep? Yes/No
      • Question: Am I still tired? Yes/No - Again a yes or no question (starting to see the pattern.)
Not all decisions are as easy to break down into a intelligent yes or no answer. example:
  • Do I love my girlfriend/boyfriend? Yes/No - You may be able to answer the question but not the why of the answer - this a place a lot of fights start.
    • Does (s)he have the right color hair
    • Is (s)he in the right age range
    • Is (s)he mature enough
    • does (s)he have/make enough money - this is a question a lot of people ask themselves


THE POINT

Everyday you meet hundreds of people.

You pass them in the street as you walk or stand behind them in line. No matter the case they all have an affect on your life

YOU have to decide how you will let those people affect you.

Do you risk a bad day on that turd in the grocery store, or do you pretend he does not exist and have a happy day?

Do you let the fight that your spouse started over breakfast this morning take over your day, or do you resolve the fight and put it out of your mind?

In every minute of your life you have to decide how to deal with what has come, is upon you, or will come. How you have dealt with what has come or how you deal with what is upon you may affect how you deal with what is to come.

Example:
Your boss is a jerk and you feel over worked, underpaid, and underappreciated. Your boss just spent the last two hours lecturing your team for missing a deadline and your team leader blames you. Now your boss wants to see you in private. He begins to yell at you for your portion of the project not being completed and then pauses for a response.
You have some choices at your disposal and each one has benefits and consequences that need to be included in the decision making process. I am not here to say which one of the choices is better or worse because in each situation that options may not have the same effect.

  1. Apologize for your portion being late and if possible give an estimate of completion.
    • Benefit: you MAY not get shouted at anymore
    • Consequence: You are accepting responsibility for a project being late.
  2. Point the blame somewhere else (the team leader is always a popular choice)
    • Benefit: You are no longer solely responsible for the failure
    • Consequence: Making excuses is frowned upon by most management and will probably not get you into the team leader position in the future.
  3. Call your boss out saying that it was impossible to meet the deadline
    • Benefit: You feel better (for now) because you got your frustrations out
    • Consequence: if you are the only on the team that feels this way then you may not have a job in the near future.
  4. Quit! I don't need this turd
    • Benefit: You no longer have a project to complete, boss to deal with, co-workers to compete with.
    • Consequences: YOU DO NOT HAVE A PAYCHECK (seems like I made that into a bad option, huh? - not so... rich people do not need to keep menial jobs)
  5. Say Nothing <- DO NOT DO THIS
    • Benefits: Hopefully you are having a stroke and you probably won't need this job in a few minutes anyway
    • Consequences: You will look like an incompetent ass and assuming you're not having a stroke you should start looking for another job because (if you do not get fired) your boss is going to be on you like dirt on the ground
    • Yes that is a horrible decision, you should never not say anything (Unless you are having a stroke)
The point of the point is that no matter what you do in life (even if it is to have a stroke in a meeting with your angry boss) you have to do what will make you happy yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Sometimes that decision is to just do what you have to while you look for something better.


THE SUMMARY

Live life in a way that will make you happy. Do not let other people do the things they do that creates a poop on your ice cream. Finally try not to have a stroke while discussing your failures with your boss... there are much better times to have a stroke... in an ambulance or hospital, in front of a paramedic or doctor, or on the toilet... to name a few.

Thanks for reading!
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Have a happy and healthy week!

"Don't let anybody poop on your ice cream!" ~ Thomas Gould
"Don't poop on other people's ice cream!" ~ Thomas Gould

Thomas Gould